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Jul 29, 2020

In my interview with Maureen, we talk extensively about how she was able to get out of a physically abusive relationship with an alcoholic and drug addict.  This is a great episode to listen to for anyone who thinks they might be in a toxic relationship but aren't sure if they are truly in an abusive relationship or if they are just having problems like any normal couple. 


Show Notes

For people raising children, it’s important to tell your children I love you for who you are, not what you do.

We tuck painful memories into a filing cabinet, and these memories aren’t supposed to be drawn on every moment of every day.  You can access the memory if you want to, but you have to search for the file.  If you are thinking about that memory over and over and over, that’s how we have a hard time moving forward after the traumatic things we have been through.  

What are some of the things that will help people identify if they are in a toxic or abusive relationship vs one that just has the normal problems that every relationship has?The most simplistic answer is….how do you feel when you are around this person?  Do you feel oppressed? Do you feel bad about yourself?  Do you feel like you have no freedom? Do you feel controlled?  Do you feel like all of your actions are completely geared towards making that person happy? It doesn’t have to be physical abuse.  Are they treating you the way that you need to be treated.  If your daughter or son was in the same relationship, would you be ok with it?

We seek the suffering we know. 

We need to have a balance in our life of couple time, alone time, (work time), and family time and if those things are not in balance, something is going to be missing in your ability to love who you are. 

**A good book she read about this topic is “Destructive men and the women who love them.”**

TRA.  Trigger.  Reaction. Alternative.      Learn to recognize your triggers and the emotional reactions they bring.  Find positive alternatives to these triggers. 

For more information or help from Maureen, go to her website:

Maureen’s book.  “My dog is more enlightened than I am.”

To anyone facing adversity right now….the most important thing to do right now is focus on what is happening today.  Depression is looking at the past, anxiety is looking at the future…..look around you and find what brings you joy today.